Why does it have to hurt so much? I keep on repeating that to myself. I want to make myself be able to turn off this thing in the pit of my stomach, in the back of my throat, in my heart that keeps me feeling the worst i have ever felt. I usually don’t write about my feelings but i dont know what else to do. I cant stop crying and I’ve never felt this way before but why does it have to hurt so much? I know what i want but i also what it’ll eventually turn into to. I dont want to be in this house anymore everything is a goddamn reminder. I cant even feed my dog without crying or seeing that Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is on without my nose running. Im trying so hard not to be in our room but i cant help it, i just want some sort of comfort. I want someone to talk to but i feel like i dont have my own friends, that no one will understand, no one will care, that “you’ll get over it” “it happens”. So i tell myself ill just have to deal with this myself but i want someone to tell me why it hurts so much. i cant stop crying because i wanna reach over and hug her and kiss her and make everything go away. for now. this is the shittiest road to take but i have to believe that in the end it’ll be better for both of us whether she sees it or not. she deserves someone who will be the kind of boyfriend she always thought i was and who i knew i wasnt.
Beautiful music. It’s hard for me to describe how soul/R&B makes me feel, it’s like I just want to get lost in what i’m listening to. I don’t know, like I said it’s hard to describe haha. Enjoy (if you happen to play it)
Hello world! So as my first post I decided to show you my next tattoo. Don’t steal it!
